I Fucking Saw Crotchduster!!!

stainlesssteelrat · 04-26-2005, 11:36 PM

I live in Orlando, and I know the guys in Crotchduster live here too. So, there's this shitty little bar down the street from my house. It's a total dive, a real hole in the wall. It probably has a maximum capacity of like 100, maybe less. There's usually really horrible punk rock or death metal bands playing there, but sometimes I'll get lucky and catch a really great band before anyone knows about them. I saw Trivium there like 3 years ago, I also caught Capharnaum there before they recorded Fractured, and i recently caught a fucking terrific punk/metal band called Paper Street Soap Company (keep an eye out for them, there gonna be huge). Anyway, I'm sitting there last Saturday night, the first terrible band has alread played, and loaded out their gear. The second band starts to load their stuff in, and I can't believe the amount of shit they have. A huge keyboard setup, 2 fucking drummers, 3 guitar players, 2 bass players, and all kinds of odd little instruments are squeezed onto the tiny stage. So they soundcheck, the sound guy gives them the o.k., and this guy picks up the mic and yells, "leave me alone while I'm trying to mow the lawn, you faggot" and they launched into "Cain sings the Blues." I almost shit myself. It sounded just like the fuckin album! They played most of the album, ending with "Mammal Sauce" of course. After they played I went out back of the bar to talk to them, and sure as shit, they were total dicks. Awesome!!!

pale666 · 05-08-2005, 08:55 AM

lucky kint!

M. Diddy Oien · 05-09-2005, 07:08 AM

either your a lying son of a bitch or a very very lucky man.

Dartwa · 05-15-2005, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by imbromatt
either your a lying son of a bitch or a very very lucky man.

emoxfag · 05-17-2005, 12:11 PM

thats sraight bullshit. they don't play live.

stainlesssteelrat · 05-18-2005, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by emoxfag
thats sraight bullshit. they don't play live.

kiss my balls you fuckin ass magnet. my story about the Duster is the double truth, Ruth. I know Fornicus posts here, so maybe he can confirm my story.

your a pussy.

emoxfag · 05-18-2005, 12:13 PM

what did they look like then boss. what kind of dog is cain? what bar was this? What day? you story has toomany holes. plus they don't play live.

stainlesssteelrat · 05-18-2005, 05:07 PM

allright dicklicker, here goes. Fornicus was overweight and with black hair and he was in a wheelchair. He was also sorta spastick. Slippery Jim was really skinny and kinda short. He was the one who was kind of a dick. Cain was a mostly black, partly brown dog. Maybe a rottweiller, plus he had a white scar on his face.

It was the bar right down the street from the social, and it was a Friday or Saturday. They WERE NOT booked as Crotchduster. They were playing under an assumed name, possibly to try out new material, because they played like two songs i've never heard before.

Hows that, Mr. mp3's a year in advance?

metalcripple · 05-18-2005, 11:08 PM

shhhhhhh! i perfer fat and crippled, not overweight~!

Lichtbringer · 05-19-2005, 03:12 PM

Damn, I´d really like to know if his story is true.

Johhny Fuckpants · 06-10-2005, 03:54 PM

I was there, fucking shit went off like a pre-teen gangbang. Never before have I witnessed such musical supremecy. And the fact that they had a dog playing with them......too fucking much man. I tried to talk to them afterwards and Slippery Jim punched me in the cock! Fucking Metal!

Dartwa · 06-10-2005, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Johhny Fuckpants
I was there, fucking shit went off like a pre-teen gangbang. Never before have I witnessed such musical supremecy. And the fact that they had a dog playing with them......too fucking much man. I tried to talk to them afterwards and Slippery Jim punched me in the cock! Fucking Metal!

:D

glitch · 06-15-2005, 07:06 PM

Dartwa · 07-02-2005, 01:20 AM

Hey Nick.

Crotchpolisher · 07-11-2005, 06:10 AM

I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.

Kill The Scene · 07-12-2005, 07:38 AM

I call bullshit.

stainlesssteelrat · 07-13-2005, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kill The Scene
I call bullshit.

You can call whatever you want there piss wheel. I saw the Duster and that's that. However, I can offer no proof other than this. One of the "new songs" they played contained a part where they sang about "Boner World". It was either free tickets to Bonerworld, or three tickets to Bonerworld, or some shit. Either way, if such a song is on the new album then you'll know I was right, which I am.

tony m · 07-23-2005, 05:46 PM

that show was shit

animate · 05-20-2006, 01:15 PM

Can anyone confirm this? I'm not doubting you, dude, but your lack of details doesn't look to convincing. No pictures?

beefinator · 08-28-2006, 02:06 AM

I love how people have to argue over whether or not this story is true. Crotchduster has made themselves into some sort of big foot. "I saw it, I fucking swear!" "NO YOU DIDNT HOMO YOURE NOT COOL ENOUGH!"

These men are too epic for words. I bow to your awesomeness.

Phoncible · 09-01-2006, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crotchpolisher

I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.

haha, best comment from a girl ever

COSTA RICAN FAN · 09-24-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emoxfag

what did they look like then boss. what kind of dog is cain?

f28rank · 09-25-2006, 08:45 AM

I would shave my head, glue my hair to my ballsack, wax it off, wrap the wax around the outside of a dildo, and fuck myself up the ass with it, all while masturbating three horses and flying an airplane through magic rings for bonus points just to see this band play live.

tck! · 09-25-2006, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f28rank

I would shave my head, glue my hair to my ballsack, wax it off, wrap the wax around the outside of a dildo, and fuck myself up the ass with it, all while masturbating three horses and flying an airplane through magic rings for bonus points just to see this band play live.

that was in no way funny

Mister_Willy · 09-25-2006, 08:05 PM

From Stainlesssteelrat:

"Big Fat Box of Shit" is such a terrible CD, such an unfunny pile of garbage, such a monumental waste of time, that I can't believe that longtime fans of this label (such as myself)
would find this release to be anything other than insulting. It is for this reason that I now view ALL new Willowtip releases with suspicion, and usually wait for several reviews by reviewers i respect (Lambgoat, Aversionline) and hear at least one mp3 before I purchase anything from them, whereas before I would buy it just because I knew they put out only good shit.

It's a shame really.

Symbiotic in Theory · 10-10-2006, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister_Willy

From Stainlesssteelrat:

"Big Fat Box of Shit" is such a terrible CD, such an unfunny pile of garbage, such a monumental waste of time, that I can't believe that longtime fans of this label (such as myself)
would find this release to be anything other than insulting. It is for this reason that I now view ALL new Willowtip releases with suspicion, and usually wait for several reviews by reviewers i respect (Lambgoat, Aversionline) and hear at least one mp3 before I purchase anything from them, whereas before I would buy it just because I knew they put out only good shit.

It's a shame really.

sorry, but I have to laugh at you for respecting Lambgoat's oppinion. You just have no sense of humor.

Richo · 06-08-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crotchpolisher

I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.

But you have an ass for him to fuck

Nökkvi · 06-21-2007, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kill The Scene

I call bullshit.

FreshTillDeath · 03-05-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metalcripple

shhhhhhh! i perfer fat and crippled, not overweight~!

=] lol

04-26-2005, 11:36 PM	#1
stainlesssteelrat Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 25	I Fucking Saw Crotchduster!!! I live in Orlando, and I know the guys in Crotchduster live here too. So, there's this shitty little bar down the street from my house. It's a total dive, a real hole in the wall. It probably has a maximum capacity of like 100, maybe less. There's usually really horrible punk rock or death metal bands playing there, but sometimes I'll get lucky and catch a really great band before anyone knows about them. I saw Trivium there like 3 years ago, I also caught Capharnaum there before they recorded Fractured, and i recently caught a fucking terrific punk/metal band called Paper Street Soap Company (keep an eye out for them, there gonna be huge). Anyway, I'm sitting there last Saturday night, the first terrible band has alread played, and loaded out their gear. The second band starts to load their stuff in, and I can't believe the amount of shit they have. A huge keyboard setup, 2 fucking drummers, 3 guitar players, 2 bass players, and all kinds of odd little instruments are squeezed onto the tiny stage. So they soundcheck, the sound guy gives them the o.k., and this guy picks up the mic and yells, "leave me alone while I'm trying to mow the lawn, you faggot" and they launched into "Cain sings the Blues." I almost shit myself. It sounded just like the fuckin album! They played most of the album, ending with "Mammal Sauce" of course. After they played I went out back of the bar to talk to them, and sure as shit, they were total dicks. Awesome!!!

05-08-2005, 08:55 AM	#2
pale666 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Australia, Queensland Posts: 5,230	lucky kint! __________________

05-18-2005, 11:08 PM	#9
metalcripple Moderator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: orlando area Posts: 32	shhhhhhh! i perfer fat and crippled, not overweight~! __________________ fat crippled and jewish... oohhhh yeah

05-19-2005, 03:12 PM	#10
Lichtbringer Kellerstahl Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Ass Posts: 5,772	Damn, I´d really like to know if his story is true. __________________ >>> DOWNLOAD ZERSTÖRENFRIED'S NEW ALBUM: http://www.megaupload.com/de/?d=NPC5Z8MJ <<< >>> OR STREAM IT HERE: http://www.lastfm.de/music/Zerst%C3%...wehr+macht+Eng <<<

06-15-2005, 07:06 PM	#13
glitch Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: maine Posts: 261	fags

05-17-2005, 12:11 PM	#5
emoxfag Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: philly Posts: 6	thats sraight bullshit. they don't play live.

05-18-2005, 12:13 PM	#7
emoxfag Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: philly Posts: 6	what did they look like then boss. what kind of dog is cain? what bar was this? What day? you story has toomany holes. plus they don't play live.

05-18-2005, 05:07 PM	#8
stainlesssteelrat Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 25	allright dicklicker, here goes. Fornicus was overweight and with black hair and he was in a wheelchair. He was also sorta spastick. Slippery Jim was really skinny and kinda short. He was the one who was kind of a dick. Cain was a mostly black, partly brown dog. Maybe a rottweiller, plus he had a white scar on his face. It was the bar right down the street from the social, and it was a Friday or Saturday. They WERE NOT booked as Crotchduster. They were playing under an assumed name, possibly to try out new material, because they played like two songs i've never heard before. Hows that, Mr. mp3's a year in advance?

06-10-2005, 03:54 PM	#11
Johhny Fuckpants Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 1	I was there, fucking shit went off like a pre-teen gangbang. Never before have I witnessed such musical supremecy. And the fact that they had a dog playing with them......too fucking much man. I tried to talk to them afterwards and Slippery Jim punched me in the cock! Fucking Metal!

07-02-2005, 01:20 AM	#14
Dartwa Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 81	Hey Nick.

07-11-2005, 06:10 AM	#15
Crotchpolisher Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Scotland Posts: 5	I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch. __________________ Stars = 12 Triangles = 12 Apostles THIS IS PROOF OF JESUS THROUGH THE LEARNING TRIANGLE.

07-23-2005, 05:46 PM	#18
tony m Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 24	that show was shit

05-20-2006, 01:15 PM	#19
animate Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Williamsburgville Posts: 10	Can anyone confirm this? I'm not doubting you, dude, but your lack of details doesn't look to convincing. No pictures?

08-28-2006, 02:06 AM	#20
beefinator Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2	I love how people have to argue over whether or not this story is true. Crotchduster has made themselves into some sort of big foot. "I saw it, I fucking swear!" "NO YOU DIDNT HOMO YOURE NOT COOL ENOUGH!" These men are too epic for words. I bow to your awesomeness.

09-25-2006, 08:45 AM	#23
f28rank Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 25	I would shave my head, glue my hair to my ballsack, wax it off, wrap the wax around the outside of a dildo, and fuck myself up the ass with it, all while masturbating three horses and flying an airplane through magic rings for bonus points just to see this band play live.

09-25-2006, 08:05 PM	#25
Mister_Willy Will Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 228	From Stainlesssteelrat: "Big Fat Box of Shit" is such a terrible CD, such an unfunny pile of garbage, such a monumental waste of time, that I can't believe that longtime fans of this label (such as myself) would find this release to be anything other than insulting. It is for this reason that I now view ALL new Willowtip releases with suspicion, and usually wait for several reviews by reviewers i respect (Lambgoat, Aversionline) and hear at least one mp3 before I purchase anything from them, whereas before I would buy it just because I knew they put out only good shit. It's a shame really.

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