“Large Hadron Collider” (CROTCHDUSTER tribute!!)

[El-Heino]

In honour of the imminent turning on of the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, a friend of mine made a tribute in the form of a partially insane Crotchduster medley. Enjoy!



“Large Hadron Collider” by Crotchduster

[Intro – telephone conversation in Hawaii]
“Dude they’re makin’ a black hole”
“What?”
“They’re recreating the Big Bang, 13.7 billion years ago”
“WHATTT?!”
“In Geneva, they’re gonna make a black hole”
“OH MY GAWWWD!”

[Falsetto choir]
Mister Indignant Lepton
Why must you be so brash?
This gravitational particulate destruction
Will dissolve your intestinal tract

[Clean sung, pop style]
Listen up physics worker, I’ve got something I need to say
If you don’t use gamma source you need a cosmic ray
I can feel acceleration round my ring
I can feel it radiating through my veins
Just a brief subatomic residue
Leaves you hypnotised
Let’s go!

[King Diamond style]
Let me click a black hole, let me wipe Earth clean
I’ll take you all to Event One

[Cookie Monster style]
Let me click a black hole, let me wipe Earth clean
It’ll sift out all dark matter, it’ll filter all photons
It’ll crumple your electrons, annihilate baryons
It’ll extract all your hadrons and spit them down your throat

I was in her proton trap, waiting to explode
A 30-year old magnet, turned on and ‘fragged my load

Peter Higgs, Peter Higgs, Boson and Peter Higgs [x3]
Peter Higgs, Peter Higgs, ROARRRRRR!

[Cher with vox-coder style then repeat with choir]
Oh gamma source is the best gamma source
I spread gamma source in my CERN
We make gamma source in Stephen Hawking’s loft
And eat a bucket of quarks