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Old 08-20-2007, 04:25 PM   #151
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So...


Where is the starter of this thread?
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Old 08-20-2007, 04:30 PM   #152
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what a fat dumb bitch, probably some fat soccer mom abusing her forum powers. "wow he typed poop time to ban"
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:14 PM   #153
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:15 PM   #154
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why??
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 12-18-2008, 11:51 PM   #155
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When I was in Catholic elementary in Chicago, one of my friends, Tony Bologna, had diarrhea and didn't make it to the toilet. He let the explosives fly all over the walls and floor. The janitor didn't wanna clean it up so they called my buddy's mom and made her clean it up. Fucked up. It was a very poor Catholic school.
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Old 12-18-2008, 11:59 PM   #156
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When I was in Catholic elementary in Chicago, one of my friends, Tony Bologna, had diarrhea and didn't make it to the toilet. He let the explosives fly all over the walls and floor. The janitor didn't wanna clean it up so they called my buddy's mom and made her clean it up. Fucked up. It was a very poor Catholic school.
hahahaahahahaha win
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:01 AM   #157
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Anybody ever start to take a piss and then your tip says 'fuck that' and streams straight into the wall or somewhere completely different from where you were aiming? Usually happens after you have sex, and just go to sleep afterwards without taking a piss.

Or, when you're pissin, your thumb slips off your boxers and the waist band hits your dick and your stream just goes fucking nuts and hits everything but the toilet?

That second one happened to me in the fourth grade and my boxers just ate my dick and I couldn't get my pants re-situated fast enough. I couldn't stop pissing, so my fucking crotch was completely soaked. It was a boys/girls bathroom in the classroom and a line was forming when I went in. I waited that shit out for like 30 minutes while my pants dried.

The teacher was so pissed at me.
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:07 AM   #158
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Anybody ever start to take a piss and then your tip says 'fuck that' and streams straight into the wall or somewhere completely different from where you were aiming? Usually happens after you have sex, and just go to sleep afterwards without taking a piss.

Or, when you're pissin, your thumb slips off your boxers and the waist band hits your dick and your stream just goes fucking nuts and hits everything but the toilet?

That second one happened to me in the fourth grade and my boxers just ate my dick and I couldn't get my pants re-situated fast enough. I couldn't stop pissing, so my fucking crotch was completely soaked. It was a boys/girls bathroom in the classroom and a line was forming when I went in. I waited that shit out for like 30 minutes while my pants dried.

The teacher was so pissed at me.
first one sucks balls.

second one yea, almost happened to me but i immediately stopped
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
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Old 09-12-2010, 03:09 AM   #159
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Old 09-12-2010, 03:24 AM   #160
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Old 09-12-2010, 03:47 AM   #161
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I just read this whole thing on an itouch. Worth it.
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It has nothing to do with narcissism.
It's merely a way of taking pride in trying to live as healthy as possible and keeping poison out of my body.
it's more reasonable to say "I'm edge."

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Very provocative fap.
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Old 09-12-2010, 05:14 AM   #162
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probably one of the best threads to ever come across smn.
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yo if tocamget a G For a foreme legend. thatd be a stoei to tell. youre chill meh. heklp .e out find a g


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Old 09-12-2010, 06:16 AM   #163
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And this is the first time i've seen it :[

Sophomore year: The entire class was in the front of the room getting stamps or some shit fer their notebooks, and I felt like I had to take a major shit; so I tried to release some of the pressure on my bowels by letting a small fart out. Well it turns out, the pressure was all just one nasty, rancid, green ass fart. The entire class dispursed within 20 seconds and even the teacher started questioning the students who had set off a stinkbomb in the front of the class. It worked out great for me though, they all blamed it on this awkward indian kid. I was proud :3

8th grade(Which I just heard about recently): My buddy had been in P.E. doin whatever, and suddenly his asshole wanted to purge, right then. So he rushes down the hallway, on the other side of the school, gets to the bathroom and in the stall, pulls down his pants and 1 foot infront of the toilet, plasters the ground with ass goo. He then called his dad and demanded that he bring him new pants.

Sophomore year again(I think): The entire wrestling team (which was about 7 of us, including myself) went up to Oregan for a big wrestling camp. On the way up there, we stopped by a CVS or some other store to get foodsies n stuff. A couple of the guys start giggling, so I ask them wazzap, and they tell me they jacked two bars of exlax (Which is 12 pieces, so that equals 24 pieces. The recommended dosage is 2 pieces for a "pleasant release after a good night's sleep". Remember this) So we get back to the cabin and start settin our stuff up, getting ready for a huge hike tomorrow, and one of the guys walks over to me and busts up laughing. I already guessed they found someone to eat the bars, but he turns to me and says "Hey man... I got Anthony to eat a bar, I told him it was chocolate... Then... I asked him if he wanted another one. He said yes..." By this point, we're both cracking up and Anthony has no idea why. We all go to sleep and everything's all good, until the next day, about a quarter of the way up MOUNT HELL. This is a 3-4 mile hike, mind you. Anthony stops fer a second, looks a little confused, then dashes into some random folliage, as we hear his wails. We didn't have any toilet paper so one of the other guys had to tear of his sleeves to save the poor guy. Then along the way up to the summit of the mountain, Anthony takes another 4-5 shits, my friend is almost out of a shirt, and once we get to the top, coach tells us we're taking the "shortcut". We get hopelessly lost, Anthony has some nice mudbutt, and half the team stays back with him because we all forgot to bring water, and it's hotter than a fucking oven over there. We finally spotted a house, made em rescue us and fetched the rest of the team. Great time.
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pretty sure that's reversed. i've seen that gif before but it was the guy coming down the stairs
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I almost lost my virfinity last night. Im gonna post the video later today. I have to go now bwcause I'm arranging a piece in d monor for my symphmony.
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Old 09-12-2010, 12:45 PM   #164
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Oh god. That last story made me mad.
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It has nothing to do with narcissism.
It's merely a way of taking pride in trying to live as healthy as possible and keeping poison out of my body.
it's more reasonable to say "I'm edge."

I don't need a crutch to cope with life's stress.
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Very provocative fap.
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Old 09-12-2010, 07:58 PM   #165
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Old 09-12-2010, 11:06 PM   #166
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This is the first thread I ever read.
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Old 09-12-2010, 11:12 PM   #167
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When I was little, I was at my friend's house, and I really had to take a shit but I was having fun so I didn't feel like leaving. I also had a phobia of shitting in other peoples' washrooms, so the only option was to go home. We lived in the same apartment building, so it shouldn't have been that big of a deal to go home, but I was a terrible child anyway, so that logic didn't really apply. By a certain point, any sudden thought concerning the poo, let alone a movement, would have made me shit my pants. Since we were sitting on the ground, as soon as I got up, a log dropped from my ass. Even though I should have been grossed out, I found it pretty funny, because every time I'd walk, this log would be bouncing around in my underwear. Thank god I wore briefs when I was a child, and thank god that shit was as solid as it was - I'm sure the memory wouldn't be as humorous if it had been diarrhea.
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Old 09-12-2010, 11:34 PM   #168
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One time i took a shit at someones house, and then his little brother did, they blamed me for shitting on the toilet seat. i never shit there anymore and i rarely even go there.
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Old 09-12-2010, 11:43 PM   #169
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When I was a kid we lived at this apartment complex that was square shaped with a park/playground in the middle.

One afternoon, my younger brother and I were playing with some other kids in the park. The memory is really fuzzy but I remember my brother dropping a gigantic yam-sized turd on the sidewalk.

The other kids and I started laughing and circling the freshly laid ass goblin, wondering what to do with it. Some kids started poking it with twigs. A few left their twigs in, as if they were claiming it with a flagpole. I don't remember my brother being around for any of this so he must have ran home.

My mom came out a few minutes after the shit-poking started and angrily walked over and picked it up in one swoop with some toilet paper.
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:07 AM   #170
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Thread is A+. When I was in ninth grade I was chilling in the hallway during lunch with a girl sitting on my lap. Being 14 and raging with testosterone, I had a boner that I was desperately trying to hide. I normally had to take a shit about 10-15 minutes before classes began, and I would make my way past a certain number of doors and hallways to get to the private washrooms that were always immaculately clean. These were technically meant for the teachers, but by this point they were always on their prep period. While I was sitting with this girl my stomach just started raging and I couldn't contain the urge to go. It was do or die. I booted the girl off my lap and attempted to maintain a brisk pace, but I was hunched into a nearly 90-degree angle because of the boner in my jeans. I was at the other end of the school so I knew I wouldn't make it to the clean toilets, so I jumped into another washroom and opened a stall. My pants hadn't made it very far beyond my knees before I exploded, in a half-crouched hovering position over the toilet, everywhere around, on, and in the bowl. I was lucky I didn't get any in my pants, but jesus christ I don't know what anyone must have thought when they went in there. I'm thankful that people remember the hunched boner-hiding and not the epic shit on the floor.

And I half-shit myself at a party at this time last summer. I blacked out and I remember none of it, but my friend recorded me farting on some beautiful women before I began epic vomiting, around when I just let loose in my pants. No poop but plenty of ass juice to clean up in the morning.
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:14 AM   #171
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And I half-shit myself at a party at this time last summer. I blacked out and I remember none of it, but my friend recorded me farting on some beautiful women before I began epic vomiting, around when I just let loose in my pants. No poop but plenty of ass juice to clean up in the morning.
so that was the stain on my couch
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:15 AM   #172
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holy fucking lol


pretty glad i can hold my shit for a pretty long time and always kept a good shitting schedule so i wouldn't have to do it in a public place. I've had to do it in those places a few times, but never splattered shit on the walls.

i do remember when i was a little kid, i was at home, in the bathroom, just taking a piss... nothing crazy, but when i finished, i looked down and there was a giant muddy shit pile, it just came out when i was pissing and i did not notice it one bit.
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Old 09-13-2010, 01:10 AM   #173
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Another disgusting encounter I had with feces happened when I was about 12.

I was at church on Sunday with my family and had to use the restroom. I excused myself from the pew and hurried through the exit and down the hallway towards the restroom.

As soon as I entered, the pungent, burning smell of diarrhea entered my nostrils and made me gag. At the other end standing in front of an opened toilet stall was an old man. His pants and underwear were down about halfway and there was greenish ass liquid all over the floor.

He didn't say anything. We both looked at each other and he sort of mumbled and made weird hand movements and baby steps in his puddle of butt gravy. I kind of felt bad for this obviously senile and confused man but I was only 12 so I turned around exited to go to a different restroom.
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Old 09-13-2010, 01:11 AM   #174
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i know everyone must eat some fuckin greasy bean curd
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Old 09-13-2010, 05:21 AM   #175
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One time when I was like 5, I guess I thought it'd be a good idea to pee all over the walls in my grandma's bathroom. I started in the bowl, and after about a second or so, I guess I got bored so I started splashin the walls. I vaguely remember trying to reach the ceiling.
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pretty sure that's reversed. i've seen that gif before but it was the guy coming down the stairs
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I almost lost my virfinity last night. Im gonna post the video later today. I have to go now bwcause I'm arranging a piece in d monor for my symphmony.
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:54 AM   #176
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A few weeks ago, one of my operators at work shit his pants. He rushed into my office and started yelling that he had to go home. He said he was changing the plastic on the machine and shit his pants when picking up the roll. The lead walked in and I told him. He said he was just in the bathroom and ran off. That idiot operator left the machine without plastic and the line backed up horribly. He didn't return that day. I fired his worthless ass and got my old operator from El Salvador back.
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:59 AM   #177
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Another disgusting encounter I had with feces happened when I was about 12.

I was at church on Sunday with my family and had to use the restroom. I excused myself from the pew and hurried through the exit and down the hallway towards the restroom.

As soon as I entered, the pungent, burning smell of diarrhea entered my nostrils and made me gag. At the other end standing in front of an opened toilet stall was an old man. His pants and underwear were down about halfway and there was greenish ass liquid all over the floor.

He didn't say anything. We both looked at each other and he sort of mumbled and made weird hand movements and baby steps in his puddle of butt gravy. I kind of felt bad for this obviously senile and confused man but I was only 12 so I turned around exited to go to a different restroom.
thats so sad! haha
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Old 09-13-2010, 11:41 AM   #178
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ass goblin
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puddle of butt gravy.
These descriptions had me lmao'd.
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It has nothing to do with narcissism.
It's merely a way of taking pride in trying to live as healthy as possible and keeping poison out of my body.
it's more reasonable to say "I'm edge."

I don't need a crutch to cope with life's stress.
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Very provocative fap.
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Old 09-13-2010, 11:17 PM   #179
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Did they?
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pretty sure that's reversed. i've seen that gif before but it was the guy coming down the stairs
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I almost lost my virfinity last night. Im gonna post the video later today. I have to go now bwcause I'm arranging a piece in d monor for my symphmony.
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Old 09-14-2010, 12:48 AM   #180
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I was about 11 years old when this happened. So like 5th grade.

I was recovering from having a nasty cold and taking antibiotics because I had a throat infection. I had to take one every day, and I could tell they weren't reacting well with my stomach, but what could I do? So one Friday I'm taking the bus home and it lurches forward to leave my elementary school parking lot, and I feel it. You know when it's gonna be bad because you can feel the shit dropping from your stomach into your intestine, and it feels like a really nasty cramp that goes away shortly, but you know in a few minutes what you're in for.

And oh sweet jesus, I have never used more willpower than I did on that bus ride. I was gripping those fake leather gray schoolbus seats white-knuckled while I sat next to some 6th grade girl, praying to god I didn't shit myself right next to her. I actually contemplated getting off at some random kid's house and asking to use the bathroom, or asking the bus driver to stop the bus so I could get out, take a shit by the side of the road, and get back on. It was seriously that bad.

After about an hour of this torture, we make it to my bus stop. But no, it doesn't end there. I live on a hill. About half a mile from the bus stop. And so now I have lost the physical ability to hold everything in, and as I walk to my house (with a bunch of other kids, some girls, who live near me), I'm slowly shitting myself a tiny bit with every few steps. I have khaki shorts on; there is no covering this up.

Eventually I say fuck it, and begin to run. Yes, ahead of everyone, who can see my shit-stained khaki shorts parading off into the sunset. I run into our apartment complex and into the bathroom. I'm tearing off my shorts when all of a sudden...it just releases. Every single ounce of shit I had in my ass is pouring out onto the floor. I don't even try to get onto the toilet because I know it would just make even more of a mess around the piping, so I stand in place and shit all over my parents' bathroom floor. This goes on for a good five minutes until I am literally, I am not exaggerating one bit, half an inch deep in my own diarrhea and piss, because you know you have to piss when you shit. The bathroom was about 6 X 6 feet so you can understand why.

I spend the next two hours on my hands and knees sopping up wet, watery shit with anything I can muster- paper towels, toilet paper, facial washcloths. Eventually I got it all, but near the end I started puking because of the smell, so I had to clean that up too.

9 years later, and especially now that I'm in Mexico, I take immodium if there is even the slightest chance of a car ride after a questionable meal. I have learned my lesson, gentlemen.



Story #2, possibly even more humiliating. I was about the same age. Guess I should have learned how to control my shits.

So my cousin is like 6 or 7 years older than me and I always used to hang around him during the summer and tag along like an annoying little brother. One time he went golfing with his friend at this really nice golf course and I asked if I could come, and being the genial fellow that he is, he obliged. I brought my little lefty small-kid golf clubs and played my terrible game of golf, and at one point, my cousin was using his driver and smashed it into the woods nearby. I went and got it.

While I was in the woods getting the golf ball, I had to take a piss. So I unzipped my pants and started taking a leak. You know sometimes when you piss you also have to fart, so I figured, why wait until I pull my pants back up?

Big mistake. I just took a giant, leaky, watery dump in my pants. It fell half in my boxers on the ground and got cut in half on the waistline of the pants, so the front was coated with poop. I frantically tried to scoop it out with leaves, sticks, anything I could find. In my madness, I tried using the golf ball (hey, at least I found it.) as some sort of a poop spatula, but that only meant I got more shit on my hands.

By this time my cousin and his friend were wondering where the fuck I went. I pulled my pants back up and went over to one of the ballwashing machines to wash the coagulated shit off his golf ball and my hands, and I informed him of what had happened. They spent a while laughing (hell, I would have too) and agreed that after the next 2 holes they'd give me a ride back home.

So I'm smelly and covered in shit stains and miserable, and we're walking back to their car. And I thought, please god, just let me get home and take a goddamn shower. But right as we're climbing into the car...who shows up? The pretty cute friend of my cousin who I'd met before, Erin. Now, I was like 11 or so, so my hormones weren't quite raging or anything, but I was old enough to find girls attractive, and I remember she was a cutie. I had a little puppy love crush on her. She asks my cousin for a ride home, since she had just finished playing a golf game.

My cousin looks at me. I look at his friend. His friend looks at him. We all know that if this bitch gets in our car, she might puke. We're trying to cover up the smell with cologne and shit but in an enclosed space it would be impossible. So he agrees sheepishly and whispers in my ear, "CLIMB IN THE BACK." We open the trunk and I play the dumb little kid card, like I enjoy riding in the trunk for fun. Everyone throws their golf bags on top of me.

30 seconds later, Erin goes "oh...oh GOD...what is that SMELL?! Did one of you guys step in dog shit? Or something? My GOD it's terrible...jesus christ..." She's gagging and shit and we have to stop the car and let her get some air. This is with all the windows open.

Now, as this car is driving, I can feel it coming on again. Just to add insult to injury, we go over a giant pothole in the road, and as we're in the air, I lose muscle control. Boom. Shit myself yet again. The smell only gets worse and our situation only seems more suspicious to this girl...nothing is going right in my life.

At long last we arrive home, and I run the fuck out of the car, without saying bye to anyone, and into the bathroom for the rest of my meal to let itself out.

I'm sure I'll think of more. Fuck me.

Last edited by GravesOfTheFathers; 09-14-2010 at 01:05 AM.
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