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Old 03-15-2006, 09:16 AM   #1
CHUD LIFE FOREVER!
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CONQUEST!!!!!

What does a bone nunchuck wielding barbarian, a pansy ass in a cod piece, beast men, and the maestro of gore, Lucio Fulci, have in common?

CONQUEST



At it's height of popularity in the 70's/80's, the sword and sandal genre was still pretty fucking cheesy. B-rated slop sure to melt your brain. Rot gut for the mind.....a cauldron of crappy acting, silly plot devices, big tittied women, and piles of severed limbs....and I drink deep from that soup my friends.

Fulci's style, his deep zooms, his over gratuitous gore, is all there. The plot is epic, or at least pretends to be. The bad guys are predictablely bad, bad, evil, vile fuckers. The violence is practically nonstop. I loved every minute of it, right down to the rubber birds.....

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Old 03-15-2006, 05:56 PM   #2
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Have you been spying on me hahaha i watched that a few days ago, i loved it, especially the beastmen ruled, fucking cheese to the max!
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Old 03-20-2006, 01:40 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoreGnome
Have you been spying on me hahaha i watched that a few days ago, i loved it, especially the beastmen ruled, fucking cheese to the max!
I live in the trashcan outside.

Yeah I totally dig this flick. It's up there with other classics like Beastmaster, Conan the Barbarian, Buckeroo Bonzai.......
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Old 03-20-2006, 05:17 PM   #4
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Well the first beastmaster is a fucking classic iconquest was good but the beastmaster rules beyond it as does the first conan those are fucking awesome. Did you ever see Kull the Conqueror? That one was also pretty good i thought and has a good "conan like" vibe i dug it. And man Buckaroo Banzai is fucking cult!! did you know they are making a new comic about them i am awaiting the first issue in anticipation http://www.moonstonebooks.com/banzai.asp might be of intrest to you.
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Old 03-21-2006, 10:52 AM   #5
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Yeah I picked up the free issue of BB. I'm STILL waiting for them to make the sequel to that awesome flick.

Conan the Barbarian is one of my favorite flicks ever......I'd put it in my top three....hell top two. I think if I had to pick one movie I could watch from now till eternity I'd be Empire Strikes Back, followed closely by Conan.....then maybe Halloween....

Oh and I skipped Kull the Conquerer. I heard it blew ass.
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Old 03-21-2006, 01:41 PM   #6
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I am still waiting for the comic to arrive, and yeah i have a big ass conan poster too, fucking bad ass flick for sure also have the soundtrack, bad ass music especially the battle scenes dum dum dum dum tadaaaaaaaaa tatataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tatataaaaaaaaaaa hehehe. And well i dug Kull, the athmosphere i thought was like the Conan movies, dark, midevil, sorcery beasts, fights, i think because kevin sorbo mister hercules plays Kull that maybe people didnt give it a chance you know? I thought it was good cheese for sure. Oh well it has a barbarian kicking ass so i am easilly pleased haha sue me haha.
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Old 03-23-2006, 04:35 PM   #7
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Haha.....I'm easily amused as well.
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:08 PM   #8
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Hahaha well if you love your cheese i would say it's definately worth a rental. I dunno what peoples problems are but i enjoyed Kull so there hahaha. Maybe they cried because it wasn't another hercules episode? and thought it was too scary? I actually dug Kevin sorbo as barbarian and he did a hell of a better job than the "conan" from the television series did you see that? my god what an abomination that series was...........
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Old 03-24-2006, 06:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoreGnome
Hahaha well if you love your cheese i would say it's definately worth a rental. I dunno what peoples problems are but i enjoyed Kull so there hahaha. Maybe they cried because it wasn't another hercules episode? and thought it was too scary? I actually dug Kevin sorbo as barbarian and he did a hell of a better job than the "conan" from the television series did you see that? my god what an abomination that series was...........
I watched one and wanted to toss up my meatloaf sandwich. It was quite shitty.....and coming from me that's saying something.
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Old 03-27-2006, 08:43 AM   #10
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Hahaha i love Conan a hell of a lot but yeah i couldnt watch that series it was fucking PAINFULL. I was looking forward to it and then.........there was this......... abomination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did these people even ever read robert e howards stuff? :saber:
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Old 03-28-2006, 12:53 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by TheGoreGnome
Hahaha i love Conan a hell of a lot but yeah i couldnt watch that series it was fucking PAINFULL. I was looking forward to it and then.........there was this......... abomination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did these people even ever read robert e howards stuff? :saber:
Probably not. The guy was an absolute lunatic.
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Old 04-03-2006, 05:59 AM   #12
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It had Conan crying in one episode.......... enough said :toilet:
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