Sexiest Member Of Adrift

[AstlAdrift]

Okay, we need help and votes ascertaining who is the fooking sex god of Adrift. I, for one, vote for myself, as my perfectly round, bald head is good for rubbing, and my goat is the five-inch-long "flavor-saver"; also, I am a cunning linguist. At least on the guest book, I have the most groupie nods, even if some of them are grotesque, like wanting to rub butter all over me. Yecch.

My opinions on the rest of the band:

Jack wants to be me. Bald bastard copies my look.

Mark OBVIOUSLY overcompensates with his large muscles and macho attitude, and his rampant homophobia makes me wonder.....

Analia is gorgeous and could, I stress *COULD* give me a run for my money.

Michael, ah, gloriously effeminate Michael, so in touch with his inner woman...he is beautiful, but christ, his androgyny could confuse David Bowie...

So, man up, one and all, and let us know what you think!

PS, this thread is for fun only, and for my band mates, screw you guys, I'm going home.....

[owenadrift]

Hey, who the hell else voted for me? I'm in the lead! I rule! Dude, Kev, I think I shaved my head before you did...

[AstlAdrift]

I began shaving the noggin in 1994...I can remember CC on tour w/Malevolent, ah, the Rusay days, and you still had blond long hair at the time. Sorry, Charlie, yous be copying ME!!

[siN]

Shame this couldn't be a complete moderator vote, you know my completely erotic English accent would have blown all your bald heads away.

[MetalNorm]

Analia is hottest by far. Anyone voting for the guys must be gay, cuz I can't believe there's that many girls coming here. I guess I could be wrong, tho.

[PrincessOfTheDawn]

Originally posted by MetalNorm
Analia is hottest by far. Anyone voting for the guys must be gay, cuz I can't believe there's that many girls coming here. I guess I could be wrong, tho.
I guess you're wrong :p

[MichælAdrift]

What kind of a diluted egomaniac would vote for their self especially when there is a hot chick in the band?

hmmmmmnnh? Nevermind.

[owenadrift]

I voted for myself once, but all these other votes came from other people! I swear! I'm catchin' up to Shak! (Analia is Shak, short for Shakira...)

[AstlAdrift]

Michael,

You fag, change your profile, it's utterly pipe-smokingly homo that you use the same tag line as me. Don't give me bullshit excuses as to why you should be permitted to use it, "you've been using it for years," blah blah ad nauseum. *I* used it first here, I have territorial rights to it, which I will defend with graphic violence. Stop, or risk a fist beating, frontier style. Or, I'll set your gorgeous bass on fire, see how ya like them apples, beeyotch!

Oh, by the way, I voted for Analia, I was just puffing up above. So, no mention of megalomaniacism, please. But you WILL do as I say in the band...HA! Snootchie bootchies!

See, this is how we in Adrift do things. I run it, Jack is the enforcer, and the rest are our bitches. BWA HA HA HAAA!!!

All right, I'm very liberally kidding here and just having fun. I did, however, vote for Analia. I do feel that my round head is "dead sexxxy" though. :D

[ask the Band B*tch]

It's always nice to know who has the power to throw an election.

[MetalFreak]

This is quite the entertaining thread, haha.

[Metallurgy]

when do you guys/gal have time to keep your buzz going and your dates set? I am so waiting for the LA gig!

[MetalNorm]

After seeing you guys Saturday night, Analia is DEFINITELY the hottest, sexiest member of Adrift. I was right in front of her, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The pics on the website don't do her justice.

[El Diablo]

Originally posted by MetalNorm
After seeing you guys Saturday night, Analia is DEFINITELY the hottest, sexiest member of Adrift. I was right in front of her, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The pics on the website don't do her justice.

ditto with angela gossow

[Leatherface]

Mikey is so sexy!!

[MichælAdrift]

You know, if we really expect anyone to take us seriously, we need to eliminate this post and erase the memories of all who have visited it.

I will personally proclaim Kevin the 'sex god' of the band so there is no further question in anyone's mind and then we can be done with it and start paying attention to the fans (i.e., the kid from Portugal requesting Adrift guitar tablature).

Anyway, the results are more loaded than I am half the time. I mean, c'mon. Kevin DOES make more money than the rest of us combined, but nowhere near enough to BUY five times the votes Analia has. Not even in a blind and androgynous utopia!

The facts:
This is a metal site.
99.8% of all views are by males.
The vast majority of those males are straight; the rest are homophobic.
The chicks that visit think Analia is hot, too.

Here's the slippery slope:
Kevin is 5 times sexier than Analia.
Mary Magdalene was a prositute, Jesus was a virgin and the only begotten son of god.
JFK was killed from a precision shot from the book depository.
GW had nothing to do with 9/11...

OK. Now that I know what logic we are working with, I can better accept these results.

[siN]

Originally posted by MichælAdrift
You know, if we really expect anyone to take us seriously, we need to eliminate this post and erase the memories of all who have visited it.

I will personally proclaim Kevin the 'sex god' of the band so there is no further question in anyone's mind and then we can be done with it and start paying attention to the fans (i.e., the kid from Portugal requesting Adrift guitar tablature).

Anyway, the results are more loaded than I am half the time. I mean, c'mon. Kevin DOES make more money than the rest of us combined, but nowhere near enough to BUY five times the votes Analia has. Not even in a blind and androgynous utopia!

The facts:
This is a metal site.
99.8% of all views are by males.
The vast majority of those males are straight; the rest are homophobic.
The chicks that visit think Analia is hot, too.

Here's the slippery slope:
Kevin is 5 times sexier than Analia.
Mary Magdalene was a prositute, Jesus was a virgin and the only begotten son of god.
JFK was killed from a precision shot from the book depository.
GW had nothing to do with 9/11...

OK. Now that I know what logic we are working with, I can better accept these results.

/blank stare

[MichælAdrift]

Someone manipulated the poll itself. It now reads, "Who is the yuppiest member of Adrift?" It was not I; although I have a feeling I know who did it. The results are more accurate now.

[Fisting The Dead]

I'm not gay, but I don't give a shit--I voted for Jack. The man is a living legend. What is sexier than that? Answer: nothing. It's an objective opinion. He's also reminds me of a teddy bear for whatever reason...probably the shape of his cute head. Jack, call me. *kisses*

Wait...no. I need to stop this.

[MichælAdrift]

Any port in a storm, I guess...? Jack, you rule.