My first attempt at writing a typical rap.

[Darcangelo]

This is what I have so far.

Sit back and relax like so
Playa be coppin' big cheese
Mill to bill wit a tight steeze, bro
Mindset on a right-mind dime piece
Take a hit, lean back, throw a sign - wit a fine fe
Been there, done that
Face down, ass jacked up - smackin' that back, man
Smoke this, sip that
Wit an ass like that you ain't gotta make contact
Iced-out mouth, wrist on froze
I'ma playa in da game wit some nice clothes
Thick lips, nice mouth - gotta bitch thinkin' southpole
Blunt rolled tight full of hydro
I'm sick, I'm ripped
I'ma pimp.gone.mad wit a dick for a thick bitch
Bend slash grin - got a spot on the rocks
Cash stacked - what you know 'bout this rich?
Come inside; let a playa smack it up
Not ready for a kid; let me nut in ya butt
We can beat juice, puff a billy, get crunk
My bobble head bitch got junk in da trunk
Knock, knock, knock - nobody's home
Zoned out - quarter O; gettin' dome from a hoe
I can slide back later if ya jonesin' for a bone
Mad mackin' on the track like a Lac do roads

What do you think? :emot-shak

[tremulant25]

Needs more Blaze Tiger.

[jacob shock]

terrible

[qwerty]

crap.

[receivethearsonist]

well i hate rap.

and i hate myself more now after reading that. haha.

just stick to your blaze tiger stuff, maing.

[Supreme]

i read the first 3 bars and i stopped. that was shit.

[bobbydanger]

i thought it was funny.


any rap is going to look like shit on paper. it's all in how you execute it rhythmically and the beat behind it.


blaze tiger track?

[underrealm]

any rap is going to look like shit on paper. it's all in how you execute it rhythmically and the beat behind it.

That's a good way to put it. It's definitely all about the delivery. But still... I guess it's just hard for me to relate to the typical "bitches and blunts" kind of rap. Doesn't mean I will discredit Darcangelo's attempt at a rap.

I guess I just like it with a little more feeling, or subject matter that I can relate to on an everyday basis. I do a lot of music with a rap artist, and I would say that it's a prime example of what I enjoy not only as a listener, but as an artist as well. If you'll get it a chance - www.myspace.com/607 (yeah, I know... I've plugged it before)

[Captain Amazing]

I'ma pimp.gone.mad wit a dick for a thick bitch
Zoned out - quarter O; gettin' dome from a hoe
I liked those two lines.

Otherwise, thumbs down.

But like bobbydanger said, if you can execute it well to a nice catchy beat, then people will like it anyway.

[Darcangelo]

I actually made this rap for the song "Don Imus P.O.V.", but I don't have anything to record with. Thanks for the honest feedback.

[bobbydanger]

find a friend with a microphone and preamp.

[the fucking bunnies]

I stop by my rims keep spinnin'
26's on my '96 taurus
call my digits but you get my voicemail,
hoes by my side so I'm not available

smokin' on crack, rollin' on dubs
rollin' 26's you know they ain't hubs
I'm a pimp nigguh what can I say
fuckin' them bitches like everyday

wurd/

[RiseAgainstAll]

Not all raps look bad on paper. I can read lyrics and tell if someone put some thought into them or if they're just the typical "partying, hoes and 40s" style of rap. This rap wasn't good because of the lyrics, period.

[My Arms Your Hearse]

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Finga onna trigga when niggas is gettin outta line
Bitches is pullin straps, well nigga imuna showya mine
Candy shop is down the street,
Ice Creams is on mah feet
Presented from my boi Tru Malz I'm bringing you this brand new beat
They call me little Koopa, (why?) Cause I carry shells at all times
Bitches hoppin on my dick when they hear the fresh rhymes
CD comin next month
Hataz always gonna front
Presented from Master Skeeter, bringing you this fat blunt
I know you liked the last track,
Know you wanna blast that,
Bass is pumpin hard, I'm still fly like a jet pack
Timberland, FuBu, and all the new gear, now
I need me some Ice to stay cool this time of year (wow)
The girls dancin in the back are Juice, Juice, Juice
And you know they some Ketchup girls, so Loose, Loose, Loose

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Beat bitches to the punchline
hooks make ya face shine
Blowin up, made it big time
Throw it up, show ya gang sign
When you try to tap that,
Shorty from the back,
You'll see our names,
Stamped there in black
Actin like they oughta act,
Screamin for my autograph,
Walkin' like I got THAT
Money in my pock-et

I see you got a big trunk,
You know I wanna make it bump,
Deliverin a new beat,
Cause I wanna see it thump
Chillin at the poker game,
Throwin down 50 K,
If I lose, it's straight,
Got a mil stored away
Bitches blinded by the rims,
Bitches blinded by the Timbs,
Master Skeeter is a thug, you don't wanna fuck with him

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some candy juice
Showin off my candy shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Gullls in the tour bus

Party at our crib hard
Bring you to our new yard
Icicle Blvd.
Niggas drinkin 'Mike's Hard'
Lemonade in the glass
Bitches bettah shake the ass
Bitches call me Plane, cause I'm always high,
If you need some chronic then I'm the guy
New suit, New hat, new walk, new jet
Lil Koopa, Mastah Skeetah, aint done yet

Girls are lined up outside,
Just to see my grill shine
And they all real fine,
Thick is how I like mine
I'm a playa though, so you know I'm always on the move
We can hit it off tonight, tomorrow I'll forget you
Ketchup girls gotta come in the right size,
Big chest, big booty, and some big ol' thighs
Compare me to the bank, cause I'm holdin the cash
Call me Landscaper cause I'm cuttin your grass

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some candy juice
Showin off my candy shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Gullls in the tour bus

[Mr.Spooky]

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e152/Danuas/faggot0.jpg


^^^^^
Less gay than this thread.

[seijuromitsurugi]

hahahahahahahahaha @ tigger man

[My Arms Your Hearse]

lol

[Death_]

This is what I have so far.

Sit back and relax like so
Playa be coppin' big cheese
Mill to bill wit a tight steeze, bro
Mindset on a right-mind dime piece
Take a hit, lean back, throw a sign - wit a fine fe
Been there, done that
Face down, ass jacked up - smackin' that back, man
Smoke this, sip that
Wit an ass like that you ain't gotta make contact
Iced-out mouth, wrist on froze
I'ma playa in da game wit some nice clothes
Thick lips, nice mouth - gotta bitch thinkin' southpole
Blunt rolled tight full of hydro
I'm sick, I'm ripped
I'ma pimp.gone.mad wit a dick for a thick bitch
Bend slash grin - got a spot on the rocks
Cash stacked - what you know 'bout this rich?
Come inside; let a playa smack it up
Not ready for a kid; let me nut in ya butt
We can beat juice, puff a billy, get crunk
My bobble head bitch got junk in da trunk
Knock, knock, knock - nobody's home
Zoned out - quarter O; gettin' dome from a hoe
I can slide back later if ya jonesin' for a bone
Mad mackin' on the track like a Lac do roads

What do you think? :emot-shak





i dont care what anyone says its fucking gold

EDIT: its better than 75 percent of the rap you hear on the radio

[Darcangelo]

i dont care what anyone says its fucking gold

EDIT: its better than 75 percent of the rap you hear on the radio

Thanks, if you're serious. Lol.

[My Arms Your Hearse]

bump for my rap

:]

[Between Ax and Me]

these are some tight rhymes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbbxA8a_M_s&mode=related&search=

[Darcangelo]

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Finga onna trigga when niggas is gettin outta line
Bitches is pullin straps, well nigga imuna showya mine
Candy shop is down the street,
Ice Creams is on mah feet
Presented from my boi Tru Malz I'm bringing you this brand new beat
They call me little Koopa, (why?) Cause I carry shells at all times
Bitches hoppin on my dick when they hear the fresh rhymes
CD comin next month
Hataz always gonna front
Presented from Master Skeeter, bringing you this fat blunt
I know you liked the last track,
Know you wanna blast that,
Bass is pumpin hard, I'm still fly like a jet pack
Timberland, FuBu, and all the new gear, now
I need me some Ice to stay cool this time of year (wow)
The girls dancin in the back are Juice, Juice, Juice
And you know they some Ketchup girls, so Loose, Loose, Loose

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Beat bitches to the punchline
hooks make ya face shine
Blowin up, made it big time
Throw it up, show ya gang sign
When you try to tap that,
Shorty from the back,
You'll see our names,
Stamped there in black
Actin like they oughta act,
Screamin for my autograph,
Walkin' like I got THAT
Money in my pock-et

I see you got a big trunk,
You know I wanna make it bump,
Deliverin a new beat,
Cause I wanna see it thump
Chillin at the poker game,
Throwin down 50 K,
If I lose, it's straight,
Got a mil stored away
Bitches blinded by the rims,
Bitches blinded by the Timbs,
Master Skeeter is a thug, you don't wanna fuck with him

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some candy juice
Showin off my candy shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Gullls in the tour bus

Party at our crib hard
Bring you to our new yard
Icicle Blvd.
Niggas drinkin 'Mike's Hard'
Lemonade in the glass
Bitches bettah shake the ass
Bitches call me Plane, cause I'm always high,
If you need some chronic then I'm the guy
New suit, New hat, new walk, new jet
Lil Koopa, Mastah Skeetah, aint done yet

Girls are lined up outside,
Just to see my grill shine
And they all real fine,
Thick is how I like mine
I'm a playa though, so you know I'm always on the move
We can hit it off tonight, tomorrow I'll forget you
Ketchup girls gotta come in the right size,
Big chest, big booty, and some big ol' thighs
Compare me to the bank, cause I'm holdin the cash
Call me Landscaper cause I'm cuttin your grass

Sippin on some apple juice
Showin off my brannew shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Bitches in my tour bus

Sippin on some candy juice
Showin off my candy shoes
Leanin back as far as fuck
Gullls in the tour bus

I like this.