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View Full Version : Death Metal summed up perfectly


obskuredeath
09-12-2006, 07:34 PM
My friend found this at Urban Dictionary and it is really in there.....

""RRRAWWWWWRRRRGGGGGG !KILL!RAAAWWWWRRRRGGGG&qu ot;
Scream that above line 85 times in a gruntish voice while smacking your fists randomly against the desk. Congratulations. You have now heard every Death Metal song in existence. If you are a filthy, self loathing goths who doesn't wear sports gear, only then will you 'pretend' to like this attempt at poetry. Even the so called 'fans' don't like this. They only pretend they do so they can be different but all goths are the same, they all wear makeup (Even the men which means they must be beaten up for not being heterosexual like god intended!)

Slipknot, Korn and Marilyn Manson are three of the heaviest Death Metal bands. I heard them once and my ears nearly exploded. The noise in the background are created by 'guitars' and 'drums'. There isn't a single DJ mixing a beat or any lyrics about banging ya ho. It's all "DIE, DIE DIE, I HATE MYSELF! I am goth, grrr, I worship Satan and hate God even though he created me just like my parents who I also hate." You don't hear Eminem whining like that do you?

Rock and Metal are a wasteland of yobs pulling strings on wooden blocks and bashing trashcans in a vain attempt to create art. Anyone can become a vulgar rockstar. Chingy is too good for instruments and instead used his beautiful flow to tell a story from the streets. Chingy doesn't scream because he isn't angry even though he lived on the streets and those rich, white lads just didn't get their $500 allowance one week because they crashed their dad's BMW.

My friend is an idiot, he thinks bands exist outside of MTV yet MTV plays all the music variety in the world so I know he is a liar and I hit him for being a goth. I hate goths. All goth music sucks and anyone that listens to it must die! I'll stick with Nelly, 50 cent and Bauhaus instead of your screaming, self loathing, hatefilled, racist, homophobic, faggot, goth crap.

The only good heavy metal band is Limp Bizkit. Death Metal like Slipknot sucks because it isn't rap. I bet you idiots like classical too like all the other goth idiots at my school. I bet you're going to go to...ha ha...college *smirk* for even more education. I'm nearly out of school! I don't want more education! I'm getting a job at McDonalds. I know that has nothing to do with defining Death Metal but most people here don't define the term and just argue and being a rap fan I do what is cool because I know what is 'in' and goth music is so 'out'."

deathmetaljohn
09-12-2006, 08:42 PM
hhahaha this is fucking hilarious this author cant be serious

Azathoth
09-12-2006, 08:54 PM
I think it's obvious he was kidding. However, if you took out the really obvious parts, the sad part is most people do share that opinion(the RAWR KILL STUFF and complete focus on vocals/lyrics).

tck!
09-12-2006, 09:47 PM
lol, if you don't think he's joking then sever your spinal column plz.

obskuredeath
09-12-2006, 10:10 PM
I was joking with the headline, but if you go to www.urbandictionary.com and search for death metal a lot of the B.S. is in there. The people that came up with that crap don't have a clue and I think it's funny and had to share with you guys.

deathmetaljohn
09-13-2006, 12:15 AM
yeah its pretty funny i saw something similar to this before it was on amazon or something and it was a list of the best death metal albums of all time and linkin park was on the top of the list and it said some shit like "this album is so brutal i cant believe they play it on the radio"

RyanMDF
09-13-2006, 06:30 AM
CREED IS DEATH METAL

TURDS
09-13-2006, 12:35 PM
I COMPLETELY AGREE AND FULLY BACK THIS ARTICLE....

TURDS
09-13-2006, 12:54 PM
http://i8.tinypic.com/2dhfwnd.jpg

puppetmaster8586
09-13-2006, 10:22 PM
God, I love sarcasim, but saying slipknot is deathmetat is like saying living colour is kvlt.

Of Divine Nature
09-14-2006, 02:21 AM
well they are...last i looked they were pretty black. and all black things are kvlt and grim.

TURDS
09-14-2006, 11:27 AM
God, I love sarcasim, but saying slipknot is deathmetat is like saying living colour is kvlt.

Living Colour is not KVLT......their black metal :limpwrist