Copremesis – Paulo Gook, Guitars/Vocals

Guitarist/Vocalist Paulo of New York City death metallers COPREMESIS stopped dressing up like Zoidberg and posting on the Relapse forum long enough to answer a few of our questions, and to tell you why it’s worth getting out of bed after a night of drinking to see them at this year’s Maryland Deathfest. They go on at 12:25pm on Sunday, May 25th, so don’t forget to set your alarm.

For those unfamiliar with Copremesis, how would you describe yourself?

The most brutal sexual assault to your senses. Turning heteros into full blown aids ridden homosexuals. Losing anal virginity by charming you with our cute winkles and huggles, but done with class. We look you in the eyes, touch your face tenderly, caress your buttocks, insert ourselves into the anal cavity and when you squirm, we ask you “Does it hurt? Want me to lube it? It’ll be over soon, baby.”

Just like in the Beautilful Boxer.

You have a new album coming out called Muay Thai Ladyboys, what can we expect from it and when will it be released?

It will be the most disappointing hyped up polished turd. Ever. Hopefully should be out in May 20th or around MDF. The album is basically bringing class to the death/grind community. Class like top hats, extended pinkys, earl grey teas, and slavery. Yes, slavery. We’re bring that shit back in town. Sonically forcing every porch monkeys and nig nogs to vote for Hilary Clinton. Pure Grade A class. Trigger clicky kicks. Inhales. Crickets. Seductive whisphers. Sing alongs. Stolen riffs from every awesome band [Amorphis, Malignancy, Cock and Ball Torture, Immolation, the list goes on and on].

There’s a couple of guest appearances on the album, like Will from Biolich and Danny from Malignancy, how drunk did you get them so that they would agree to appear on a Copremesis album?

Its called FELATIO, my dearest friend. FELATIO. It gets us anywhere and everywhere. Another felated guest appearance is this slutbag Erik Undzius, he originally did our logos and he does vocals for several bands like Gorged Afterbirth [who we were supposed to tour with post-MDF but that fell through…sorry, our jaws were tired and hurting around this time].

Why did you decide to accept a spot on this year’s Maryland Deathfest, and whose dick did you suck to get the offer?

We’ve always asked to play in MDF and we even tried blowing Ryan and Evan but they’re immune to the offer. So we had to chloroform their asses, pull down their pants, suck on their nubs, film it and use it as black mail. Of course they deny this event ever happened but who’s got the footage? WE DO. Pure absolute class.

With so many bands performing, what do you think sets you apart from the others, and why should people make sure to check out your set?

Virgins. We are the piped piper for virgins, they will check us out because we will get them laid. Not hetero laid, but homo ass-pillaging laid. That’s if they’re that desperate which EVERY METAL HEADs ARE.

What other band/s on MDF are you most excited to see?

Afgrund [HM-2 madness], Waco Jesus, Defeatist, Behold…The Arctopus, Engorged, SCD [FREE HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!], TDEBN, Gadget, Defeated Sanity, Ghoul [always brings the fucking mosh], Fuck…I’m Dead [w. a real drummer?! AHHH FUCK!], Coffins, Ingrowing [Represent CZECH!!!], Flesh Parade [really curious on how the new singer is, that’s some mighty shoes to fill], Anaal Nathrakh [honestly, this will be a biggest pain in ass because I’ll probably be assed out during their set and we’ll have to open the next day], CODC [ALL HAIL JOE’s RETURN!!!] and the MOTHERFUCKIN’ SQUASH BOWELS!!!!!

What is your set list looking like for the show, and are you going to do anything special?

Personally, I love being the opening act, because we have to fight for people’s attention and gain some respect. When we played the pre-fest, I got kicked out of my house, because of what I did at the show. You can expect nothing less. Even though we suck in recording, to no fucking ego, we deliver live. We will make sure everyone who was there will remember us and those who couldn’t make it, regret for missing us.

Are you scared of TorsoFuck?

Psssh, please….those arms are nothing when I wrap my dick around it. Them boys are gonna get raped with my pinky.

If you had to, would you rather make out with (festival promoters) Ryan or Evan?

Ryan, he looks more feminine. He’s actually a twink. More fragile. Someone you can look deep in the eyes and say “I’m here for you” while your piping that shit. And he looks like he cries during sex. I like that.

If you could pick one band to play next year’s MDF, who would it be?

non-existent: Human Remains
still around: Andrew WK., Viscera Infest

On a scale from 1 to 10, how much of a shit hole is Baltimore?

5. It’s not that bad, there’s a whole street of strippers, pimps and all that stuff. YES, I WANT TO TOUCH BEEF. And GAY ST.

Why is there so much grind on a DEATHfest?

Cuz too many death metal bands die in a deathfest. RIP, Always remember. *EAGLE TEARS*

Is it depressing at all that you have to go on before the new metalcore version of Infected Malignity?

I don’t mind it, like I said before, I’d rather open. its already honor that we are playing in this fest. A lot of bands envy us for being able to play this gig. Those who pass up this opportunity is a fool [you know who you are]. And I like metalcore, so I don’t mind their new stuff, it’s actually better than their straight up DM material they had.

Why does the New York City death metal scene suck so badly, to the extent that even Baltimore is better?

Every time someone mentions NYDM, they instantly think Suffocation, slam bands or reverse mental torture. People forget that Immolation is from here, Malignancy [I know you hate them but we love them with every being of our fiber!!!]. It sucks that BIOLiCH are no more but shit happens, they were our brother band.

Problem is that NY Metalheads are probably the most jaded people ever [I fall under this category too], long gone are the punk ethics of DIY, cheap shows, etc. There was a huge community when I first gotten into DM [i.e. Castle Heights, Coney Island High, CBGBs]. Now, the majority of the scene has weird clicks and it kinda dissolved the community. There’s a couple clicks who I don’t agree with their ideals but as long as they don’t bother me, we’re chill.

There’s definately a good scene, you just have to put your ear on the ground and listen. There are many humble people that aren’t in the spotlight yet, you will know when their time have arrived. And they’re slowly creeping up and they have that grind/punk’s work-ethic mentality, bands like Asra, Defeatist, Buckshot Facelift, Leader, The Communion, Castevet, etc. Everything is in cycles. There is hope.

Any final words for our readers?

This is going to sound cliche, but life is short. Enjoy what you have, start appreciating what you have, tell your mom and pop you love them. Tell that girl that you are mad about her and you have the biggest crush on her. She might like you back, or not. Chances are that you TOLD her that you like her and she WILL smile. Remember that there are other people out there that have it worse than you. Difficult times are coming ahead.

And oh yeah, pick up our cd Muay Thai Ladyboys when it comes out from our home boys PARAGON RECORDS.

Watch out for an upcoming split 7″ with Buckshot Facelift [w/ ex member of BIOLiCH] and a 3 way CD split with Gorged Afterbirth [PA] and Cesspool [TX].

We are the under dogs, we are the ladyboys, we are here to humble you.

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